I am supposed to be on call today and I am. I had dinner with A and spent time with her drinking chagee while walking down Batu Kawa bridge chatting and talking about life.
This week (post-CNY) was supposedly going to be alright and I thought I will resume with my wonderful and stress-free life in this beautiful cat city which obviously didn’t turn out to be that way. I was accused by the roster-maker of being self-entitled and it struck me hard and that was so hurtful. Rude, unabashed, reckless, direct you name it and i will take it but I have never been labeled as self-entitled. It took a few people including my dearest MOs, my specialist friends and my semenanjung friends to talk me out of this thought if I am indeed self-entitled. All in all, I had an extremely stressful week going through self-doubt, re-validation and I realised that life has been too smooth-sailing for me and it’s always in such challenging time that I will anchor myself to God.
I miss home. I miss having EZ by my side bothering me, trying to squeeze with me onto the same chair asking me “Gugu, what are you doing? What are you watching? Can we play?” I need my piano to gather my thoughts, release my emotions and frustration and the fact that I can’t swim this week is almost pushing me off the cliff.
Thank you God for my fellow supportive MOs ( I will miss you all dearly from Team A dearies!), my fellow famous five members (leaving one by one), my boss who has been supportive and holding my hands. It’s time to recalibrate, resetting goals and think of what I really want in life. Signing off with a really beautiful piece of Rachmaninoff.
Doctor on FIRE 